Hey fam, it’s Sarah! I could honestly probably write an entire book on this topic, but I’ll do my best to sum everything up (and not miss important details of course). Spirituality, specifically Shamanism, singlehandedly changed the course of my life, and I want to share some of my journey with all of you. I’m seriously so passionate about it. If you’ve had a conversation with me or spent more than a few hours with me, you’ll know this to be true.
To give you some background first, let me back track a bit. After I graduated high school, I went right on to college to pursue a degree in psychology at the University of Hartford. If I’m being honest, I really didn’t like college. Like at all. I got good grades, and I enjoyed learning about the mind and psychology, but the college environment just never was the place for me. I started my college journey living on campus, and quickly realized that I would rather live at home and commute to my classes, so that’s just what I did. I kept going, while simultaneously (and subconsciously) searching for something bigger. I finished up my degree a semester early, and got a job in my field right away. Because that’s what I thought I had to do. It’s just how the world works, I thought. You go to college, you get the degree, you get the job, you climb the ladder, and that’s how you become successful. This is what I believed to be true. I wasn’t fully convinced, though, and deep down I knew I wanted something more. After two and a half weeks at my job, I quit, got a full time nannying job, and started really digging deep.
What would I do from here? What did I even want to do? How did I want my life to look? What makes me happy? Like really truly happy?
To be honest, I couldn’t have really told you the answers to these questions then. But, during my last semester of college, I took a class called “Adult Journey: Search for Meaning” and for the first time, watched the movie “The Secret.” I was intrigued by everything it spoke about. The Law of Attraction made so much sense, and I needed to learn more about how to implement it. I started to change my lifestyle around, slowly. It started with my diet, the products I was using, my impact on the environment, and becoming conscious about the ripple effects I was creating in the world (and realizing that my actions, indeed, actually created ripple effects). And then Shamanism came in. I felt my path go in this direction at the perfect time (it’s all in divine timing anyways, right?). My mom’s childhood best friend came to me one day and said, “hey, I see your life going down this path, want to come with me to this circle on Sunday?”.
And then my life took a turn. Like a really, really big turn. The trajectory of my life changed entirely.
I dove head first into spirituality. I absorbed it all. I went weekly, sometimes several times a week. Class after class after workshop after healing session. I was seriously addicted. I started to see my life change right in front of my eyes. If I could simplify what I learned, I would say that I learned authenticity. I started learning my place in the world, I learned (and started to trust) the divinity in life, the bigger picture, and the universal energy / god / spirit / the universe (however it resonates for you.) I learned how to be human, and tools to more efficiently navigate this crazy beautiful existence. I learned that this is my life, and if I wanted to see anything in it flourish, I had to learn about and follow what I truly desired deep down, on a soul level. I started to dig deep into my past, my traumas, my experiences. I started to learn about what they meant to me and how they had shaped me up until that point.
And most importantly, I started to heal.
I started to be conscious of what I needed to heal. My mind started to expand and I started to become open to the magic of life. I must let you know, though, that the work I started to do did NOT look pretty. Most of the time it was really, really messy. It was uncovering limiting beliefs, feeling old, stagnant emotions. It was facing old cycles and patterns that weren’t serving me anymore. It was becoming aware of what things were holding me back in my life, and how I could shift them. This work is not fun, not at all. It was often times scary. It was pretty much always out of my comfort zone. But I will also say that the reward was SO worth it. And it always will be, because I started tapping into all of the magic of the world. I started to become open to receiving the magic and believing that I deserved the magic. This was huge. But I knew that in order for me to tap into this energy, I needed to do the work first.And I knew that once I started doing the work, that it would never really end. It would, maybe, get a bit easier the more I did it. Like a muscle. But this would be something I never stopped doing, because there would always be room for growth and digging and uncovering and learning. And trust me, there is.
But the MOST important thing I’ve learned through it all?
Don’t take any of it too seriously, and, hold everyone I encounter in a space of deep compassion and understanding. At the end of the day, this is all a game. We’re all creatures having a human experience for a very, very short time, frolicking around on this earth, and we might as well make it a playground as often as we can. I surrendered to the fact that my book has already been written, that everything ALWAYS happens for a reason, and that I’m always being held and guided by something bigger than me. And while I might have always known this, deep, deep down (as I believe we all do), doing all of this work helped me FEEL this truth in my bones. Letting go of control feels really damn good sometimes, and makes this whole journey worth it, because I know that we’re all always doing our best with what we have, in every given moment.
Much love to you, fellow humans, and thank you for choosing to play on this playground with me,